Love
What really is love?
Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē.
However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which they were generally used are given below.
Éros
Eros - Sensual Love. This is the only love that most understand and crave for. It is "physical" passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. Romantic, pure emotion without the balance of logic, which is usually defined as "Love at first sight".
Philia
Is "mental" love. It means affectionate regard or friendship. This type of love has give and take. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity.
Storge
Means "affection". It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring or brothers and sisters of the same blood towards each other.
Agápe
Agape - Unconquerable benevolence, which is a decision to love. It is a choice. Not conditional. This is the God kind of love, loving the unloveable, and the undeserving. "I love you" in Ancient Greek, refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true unconditional love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." This love is selfless; it gives and expects nothing in return. This is the kind of love that we all should desire and express. Because it is the God kind of love, it's only possible when we connect to God through our Spirit.
Now, how love is expressed or appreciated is a different thing entirely. Unfortunately lack of understanding of these basic facts has ruined many relationships including marriages. The way each of us conceives or defines love is different. One may think he or she is expressing great love and yet the recipient feels completely unloved.
Now which expression of love is right for you?
Favors and chores
You prefer to show your love by doing things for others. You resent and feel unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.
Presents and tokens
These objects of affection move you. It's the fact that someone was thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.
Time together
Hanging out with the one you love. This can be expressed either through those intimate discussions or by simply spending time together with the one you love.
Intimacy
Hugs, pats, kisses and other physical signs of affection. You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not centre on sex.
Testimony of love
Simply saying and hearing "I love you". Praise tells you that you are loved. You like to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why as often as possible.
It is helpful not only to know which expression of love or which combination is right for you, but to also know which is right for your partner and vice versa. Many do not. I hope you will invest quality time and effort in getting it right from now on.
Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē.
However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which they were generally used are given below.
Éros
Eros - Sensual Love. This is the only love that most understand and crave for. It is "physical" passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. Romantic, pure emotion without the balance of logic, which is usually defined as "Love at first sight".
Philia
Is "mental" love. It means affectionate regard or friendship. This type of love has give and take. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity.
Storge
Means "affection". It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring or brothers and sisters of the same blood towards each other.
Agápe
Agape - Unconquerable benevolence, which is a decision to love. It is a choice. Not conditional. This is the God kind of love, loving the unloveable, and the undeserving. "I love you" in Ancient Greek, refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true unconditional love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." This love is selfless; it gives and expects nothing in return. This is the kind of love that we all should desire and express. Because it is the God kind of love, it's only possible when we connect to God through our Spirit.
Now, how love is expressed or appreciated is a different thing entirely. Unfortunately lack of understanding of these basic facts has ruined many relationships including marriages. The way each of us conceives or defines love is different. One may think he or she is expressing great love and yet the recipient feels completely unloved.
Now which expression of love is right for you?
Favors and chores
You prefer to show your love by doing things for others. You resent and feel unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.
Presents and tokens
These objects of affection move you. It's the fact that someone was thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.
Time together
Hanging out with the one you love. This can be expressed either through those intimate discussions or by simply spending time together with the one you love.
Intimacy
Hugs, pats, kisses and other physical signs of affection. You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not centre on sex.
Testimony of love
Simply saying and hearing "I love you". Praise tells you that you are loved. You like to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why as often as possible.
It is helpful not only to know which expression of love or which combination is right for you, but to also know which is right for your partner and vice versa. Many do not. I hope you will invest quality time and effort in getting it right from now on.
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