12 Life Lessons inspired by my time with John C. Maxwell

I was prompted to share these 12 tips, with believe that someone out there really needs to hear them TODAY, and be transformed, as I was when I first heard them from my Mentor and friend John. What I share here is not verbatim as they contain my words for emphasis.  In fact there is a 13th tip whhich is all mine. 

1. When there’s no pressure anyone can do it

          When there’s no pressure anyone can do it. Positive Pressure (Stress) can be good for you. It 
          can make you stronger, smarter and more successful in life and living. Without pressure, most   

          people would not manifest the goodness and creativity that is inherent in them, the same way a  

          piece of coal would never become a prized diamond without pressure being exerted on it. 

          Many people believe that they are not cut out for something, that they can't achieve certain 

          levels of success or they just refuse to attempt, because of the pressure (stress) they would have 

          to endure to get there. Now, if you don't think you can, you are a pretender. But if you think 

          you can, you are a player. Players play to win, pretenders play to loose. Players play with 

          abandon. Pretenders play safe. If you believe you can, that confidence does amazing things to 

          you, and people can tell when you think and feel like you can you can,  and guess what? The 

          world steps aside to allow you through.

2. Dreams do come through

Please dream, and dream big. However, do not think that it is going to be easy. The truth is that as you dream, so do a lot of other people. The world is full of people with dreams because dreams are free. Note however, that it is not your dream that determine your greatness, but your resolve. It is your ability to put in the unrelenting effort to actualise your dream that progress demands. You have to be so obsessed about building momentum towards your dream that it is all you can think about. It is not going to happen for you if you're not entirely consumed by your dream. In addition, you will have to spend your time differently, with less television and all other distractions, including people that are not helping to fulfil that dream. Nourish that dream. Don’t let it go. Don’t be discouraged by how small you are now, or how big your dream looks. Enjoy where you are now. If you can’t be fulfilled where you are now, you can’t be fulfilled where you’re going. Mass movements don’t begin with a mass; it begins with a view, a thought. So don’t be afraid to dream, to change your thinking and contemplate things that may appear impossible or unattainable. Dreams still come through, so dream.

3. Today Matters

I shared elaborately on this two weeks ago. Please go back to read that week’s post, even if you read it when shared at that time, because Today matters. https://esojaymentoring.blogspot.com.ng/2018/02/today-matters-inspired-by-john-c-maxwell.html Where you are right now in your life is the direct result of what you did or did not do yesterday. Where you go next is a direct result of what you do now, TODAY. Also, consciously squeeze value out of every moment. All we have is now. What you need to squeeze value out of now is to be present. Place value on the person you are with every moment you are with people and place value on the time they have with you. Today Matters.

4. Be Intentional

Always declare what you want to do, and then do it. It is good to plan, but it is passion that would take you there.  Passion will set you apart from the crowd. It helps to declare your intention as declaring it will heighten your desire to achieve it. If you don’t declare it, you won’t do it. Be careful who you share your plans with though Find something you’re passionate about, then declare it to the right people.  Then you will move towards it. As you move towards it, the vision and goal will begin to also move closer to you. The moment you stop, the goal and vision also stops. 

5. The Average of 5

A growth environment is where everybody else is bigger, better and greater than you. If you are in a place where you are head of the group, you can’t grow there. You should surround yourself with the kind of people that are bigger than you. So who are your own five? I can share my own 5 with you, if you desire to know and request by email. My own five, next to God have been the single greatest influence on who I am now. It is a principle that works. Your 5 are helpers of your destiny. Big people make you feel bigger when you’re done talking with them, while small people want to make you feel smaller. So you must be careful who you surround yourself with. So choose your own five carefully, because you will be the average of your five. 

6. Stay Grateful and Reject Entitlement.

If you were born into a free society, you should be grateful and not feel entitled because you didn’t work your way there. If you were born into some wealth or inheritance, be grateful because you did nothing to be that lucky. If you work ten years in a place, you should be grateful for keeping your job that long and not feel entitled to some privileges. There are so many things we do not deserve, but entitlement makes us feel we deserve everything. The person with entitlement mentality refuses to make good choices that should move them forward in life, as they refuse to take responsibility for their situation. They become captive by their sense of entitlement, and often stuck in blame, anger and unforgiveness when they are not getting what they perceive is rightfully theirs. Please cultivate gratitude. It is the only way to avoid the entitlement bug.

7. Add Value to People

Use your God given talent and resources to help people, and you will be fulfilling purpose. Do something special for others and you will become something special for others. If you’re adding value to people you have a significant place in their life. And they will always want you around, because they know you are a plus person. What makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd? Always ask yourself, how can I set myself out from the crowd. What kind of kindness can I show to set myself out? Be the first to do it, to help people. If you don’t intentionally find a way to stand out in the crowd, you won’t. You must have a signature stand out game in helping people. That is one sure way to move up in life. The top of the mountain is not crowded with people, the bottom is. What are you going to do to get out of the bottom of the mountain?

8. Choose the right Attitude to Money

Attitude is a choice, and you chose the attitude you have now. Attitude is simmply the way we have learnt to think and behave. So do you have a scarcity mentality or an abundance mentality? What kind of attitude do you have, towards money or towards the rich? The scarcity mentality assumes the only way to get rich is for someone else to be poor. Such people also assume that money or pursuit of it is evil, whereas it is the love of money that is bad. The Abundance mindset recognizes that money has two great uses, one to create and sell goods and services that people need, from where more money would be made, and secondly to impact life positively by helping to lift people up by teaching them to fish rather than give them fish. How you think determines what you get out of life.

9. Make every moment count

Maximize every experience. Whatever you are doing, ask yourself at the front end, not the back end how can I make this so special and memorable for me, and the people around me? People may forget you, but they would never forget how you made them feel – Carl W. Buechner Stop living in the past. Note that you have no control nor assurance that you will be around tomorrow. Remember, yesterday ended yesterday. Be present today. Make every moment you have count. 

10. Life never ends until death

Life really has no finish line. Just do it. People make self-imposed finished lines. There really is nothing like retirement. You should just move on to something else, equally fulfilling and impactful even after retirement. No matter how much you grow, there is always more room to grow. So …Keep walking.

11. Be Flexible

Adjust your way to victory. Every good coach has a game plan at start of the game, but great coaches adjust the game at half time. For the English Premiere League football fans, recent matches of the top 6 teams are perfect examples of this fact. I plead the fifth here please. Smiling. Great coaches notice changes needed and they make the change needed. You too must be flexible. Do not be too rigid with your views on life and living. You have to allow yourself to change as life goes on.

12.  Life has a Price

Life is composed in this way; You have to pay a price before you get the goods. It is just the way life works. Everything you want in life has a price attached to it. There is a price to pay if you want to make things better. There is also a price to pay just for leaving things the way they are. A price for everything under the sun. Anytime you get the goods without paying the price, you get a sense of entitlement and it would hurt you down the line.

13.  Communication Matters

You must understand that communication is not about you, but about the other person. It is an intentional act to understand the other person’s perspective so they can understand yours. It is not about you. You can’t communicate effectively if you haven’t connected. Note also that communication is not just spoken words. Written words and also non-verbal signs and body languages also communicate.  So it is not just what you say, but how you say it. I dare say too, that the one mode of communication that we must be most careful to handle correctly is written communication, as it is easily held up in “evidence” against the writer when in bad taste. The key to communication is connecting. "You may not remember what they said, but you will remember how they made you feel with what they said. The best communicators will "connect", not just "talk".